We talked for about 45 minutes about marketing strategy and the kinds of things which would excite you if you’re into that sort of thing, and bore you into a drooling pulp of human if you weren’t. My question was not just good, it was ‘very good’. “I don’t know the answer off-hand, but I’m going to find out.”ĭavid was the ‘Vice President Marketing Australasia’ and he was already making my inner journalist blush. That’s an important question that I haven’t been asked before,” he replied. Does that make Unilever the most ‘used’ brand in the world? Are you bigger than Coke?” I asked first up. “Your products are used two billion times a day. Or possibly even Satan – the devil himself. Clearly some megalomaniac marketing director was now in the control room pulling levers, stroking a cat and training flying monkeys to take over what few parts of the world were yet to fall under the company’s all-knowing, all-seeing spell. It wasn’t something they paraded on television. They make pretty much every product in the supermarket, except for dried walnuts and corn, but up until March this year, the ‘U’ logo was something you noticed near the bottom of a deodorant can before you threw it out. Except this wasn’t just brand power, this was brand supremacy on a global scale. They’d started putting their logo on TV ads for all their products for goodness sake, right at the end, like the Brandpower people do. I was determined to wear out my ‘U’ key before the September cover article was through. I wanted to use the words ‘Ubiquitous’, ‘Unholy’ and ‘Uber’ a lot.
I knew they were quite fond of parading scantily clad women around in some commercials and promoting healthy body image charities in others.
I knew they’d been on Greenpeace’s naughty list recently. It’s a giant, global multi-national corporation making about as much money per year as McDonalds, and Coke combined.
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